That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
