Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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