ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
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Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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