I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
