wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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