so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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