i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
