Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize