it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
