I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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