He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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