Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
