Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How's work?
Spinning.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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