I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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