well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
