Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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