Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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