How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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