I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
