So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
