My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
