can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
