GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
