Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
