Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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