think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
