Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
