I wanna bring you to show and tell
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
