Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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