Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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