Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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