just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
