So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
