Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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