He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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