Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
