That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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