Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
