This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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