At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
