I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
