I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
