Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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