We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
