its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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