Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
