is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
