please come you make the beer taste better
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
