yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
