He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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