I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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