Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
