Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
