I just pynch a tree in the face
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
COCAINE IS GR8
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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