After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
