Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
